Episode 9: Moving Is Not the Same as Going Somewhere
Okay, Actually is a podcast for people who are working hard and starting to wonder if the problem is them. It's not. In under 30 minutes, we dig into what's truly broken and figure out how to build a solution that can actually work.
In this episode, I'm talking about direction — and specifically why it's not the same thing as having a plan — and then offer some ways to think about direction at this point in the year.
We may think we need beautifully structured goal systems, Q1 metrics, and a formal review process, but really 30 minutes of reflection will help you move in the right direction for the rest of the year.
If you've ever had a genuinely productive week and still gotten to Friday feeling vaguely flat, this episode is for you.
00:00 The Book I Can't Stop Recommending
02:17 Direction Is Not Goal Setting
03:25 Show Premise Setup
04:07 Busy But Off Track
06:41 When Goals Break
08:36 Midyear Reality Shift
11:17 Plant The Flag
14:30 Two Step Direction Check
16:23 Five Direction Filters
18:52 Why July Matters
The two checkpoints I mention
Part 1: Direction Check (10 minutes)
Find an environment where you can actually think. Ask yourself one question: where do I actually want to go right now? (Not where did I plan to go in January or where should I want to go). Where do I want to go from where I actually am?
If you can answer it, you have your compass. If you can't, that's the work. And if you don't know where to plant the flag, plant the flag in "figure out where to plant the flag."
Part 2: Autopilot Audit (five questions)
- What are you still working on just because you started it earlier in the year — not because it's still the right thing?
- What meetings, commitments, or obligations came into your life without a conscious yes?
- What are you still measuring that no longer tells you anything useful?
- What would you stop doing tomorrow if you gave yourself permission?
- What are you not doing that your direction is actually asking for?
Your direction is the filter. Run everything through it.
The whole thing should take about thirty minutes.
Book mentioned: Candice Millard, The River of Doubt
Find me here:
Transcript
I like to think that one of my more charming tendencies
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:is I love to enthusiastically tell
anyone I know about whatever book
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:I'm obsessed with in the moment.
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:And, and then in that enthusiasm, which
is honestly always grounded in trying
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:to get them to read the book, I end up
giving away lots of key and exciting
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:moments, twists, and turns, and that
sometimes dissuades them from reading.
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:So I wanna say I am barely scratching the
surface when I briefly talk about Candice
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:Millard's book, The River of Doubt.
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:This is all about Teddy
Roosevelt's:
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:an uncharted portion of the Amazon.
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:And this man had already served as
esident, but when he lost the:
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:presidential election, and because he's
clearly a far more adventurous person
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:than I or most, he agreed to go on this
expedition with his son and a Brazilian
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:explorer and a whole crew with the entire
objective being to map this River of
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:Doubt, which is now named after him,
because that's what happens when insane
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:people go places for the first time
The entire story is completely nuts.
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:Using the term story of survival
barely scratches the surface of
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:the many, many perils that were
encountered throughout this.
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:It truly is a must-read book, and
I have given very little away.
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:But it's the sort of thing where I
would've turned around, or, okay, I
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:wouldn't have gotten on the boat in
the first place, but if I had ended
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:up on this boat, I would've turned
around at so many different points.
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:And it's really both exciting and
impressive and intriguing to learn
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:about someone who fundamentally operates
differently and has a willingness to
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:throw themselves into things and, and
test the limits of human endurance
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:and be willing to do whatever it
takes to survive, but also do all
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:of that in the spirit of discovery.
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:Every single person on this expedition
was eating limited food, if they were
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:eating at all, and, and at risk for
disease and a million other things.
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:It's nuts.
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:But anyway, I think about that
story a lot, not just because it's
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:my actual nightmare come to life,
but because it says a lot about
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:what direction really is, right?
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:Roosevelt didn't have a map.
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:He was literally making a map.
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:He had a compass and direction and
the willingness to move, a- and
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:that's what got him down the river
and got the river named after him I
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:think about that story when I think
about the importance of direction.
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:We're often focused on setting these
big picture goals and making an
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:entire plan, but I actually think
the most important thing is to know
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:where you're headed and be willing
to move in that direction regardless.
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:The alternative is that you can make all
these plans and do all these things and
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:move really confidently, execute well,
et cetera, but end up in the wrong place.
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:Having a perfectly plotted out map
still means that one wrong turn sends
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:you somewhere you didn't mean to be.
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:But if you genuinely have a strong
and secure inner compass, you know
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:where you're headed, and you use that
to guide what you're working on, you
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:know, personally, professionally,
in any possible capacity.
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:You're set up for something
that a map alone can't give you.
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:I'm Karen Doak.
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:This is OK Actually, where we get clear,
get sorted, get going, and stay sane.
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:Today's conversation is about direction.
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:It's not about goal setting.
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:Goals are outputs, and
direction is orientation.
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:You can have zero goals but know
exactly where you're going, and I
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:think a lot of people operate that way.
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:A lot of people who are skeptical of
New Year's resolutions don't necessarily
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:give themselves enough credit for
having enough direction in their lives
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:that it makes up for all of that.
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:And you can also have the opposite.
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:You can have a really perfectly built goal
system with check-in points and milestones
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:and checklists and all of these things
to stay on track and be completely lost.
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:Moving is not the same
thing as going somewhere.
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:Efficient movement in the wrong
direction just gets you further
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:from where you needed to be.
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:Sometimes a direction failure is
invisible from the outside because it,
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:it can still look like productivity.
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:If you're generating a lot of activity
and, and you're doing a lot of stuff,
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:and you're making a lot of things
happen, but it's not necessarily in
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:pursuit of the right thing, you're
not necessarily going anywhere.
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:Direction failure doesn't announce itself.
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:There isn't an alert that says, "Hey, did
you know that you're totally off track
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:or that you're going the wrong way?"
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:Um, it doesn't feel like
being stuck or lost or behind.
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:It can feel like a really busy calendar
and a checked-off list in a week where
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:you were genuinely, legitimately busy,
and you get to Friday, and you still
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:feel like something's off because
you find yourself being like, "What
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:did I even accomplish this week?"
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:The people who are at most at risk
aren't the ones who've stalled.
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:They're the ones moving the most
confidently 'cause that momentum sort
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:of ends up being a cover story for them.
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:And if you've had that feeling, like a
productive week, but one that sort of fell
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:vaguely flat, it might not be burnout.
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:It could be your compass
trying to tell you something
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:One example of all of this for
me is when I graduated college.
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:I didn't have a job, but I moved
to New York, and I knew two things.
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:I knew I wanted to be in New York,
not because of Sex and the City,
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:although it was peak post-Sex and
the City era, but because I just
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:thought that's where things happened.
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:And I'd grown up in a small Quaker town,
and I'd gone to a small college, and
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:I wanted to live somewhere exciting,
and I wanted to work in publishing or
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:marketing, and that was my compass.
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:I didn't have a five-year
plan or mapped-out milestones.
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:I had orientation and a willingness
to move toward it and the ability
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:to send a lot of emails begging
people to take meetings with me,
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:even though I had no understanding
of what I was doing or asking.
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:Forever thank you to Beth, the HR person
at Digitas, who took a meeting with me
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:and was actually willing to tell me what
marketing was and give me a list of books
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:to read so that I could come back and
not interview poorly with anybody else.
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:I didn't, I didn't know what marketing
was, but I knew enough to know an agency
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:environment that was used to recent
college graduates would be a great first
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:step while I figured out the next step.
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:Uh, you know, an art history and French
degree doesn't really prepare you for
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:that much in corporate New York life.
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:And that direction was enough for me.
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:While I couldn't have drawn the map in
advance, I knew which way was forward, and
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:that was enough to keep me moving in the
right direction until my path became clear
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:A totally different example, not of
lacking direction, but of how goal
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:setting systems and structure can force
a lack of focus on the right thing,
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:is one job I had at a huge company.
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:We had to set a bunch of our goals in
our annual review for the year ahead,
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:and I was working in social media
marketing at the time, and a bunch of
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:the goals I set, because it was early
on, were tied to Facebook metrics that
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:were available because Facebook was so
central to everything we were doing.
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:And this was early.
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:Meta wasn't a thing,
neither was Instagram.
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:Not even gonna mention TikTok or
Yik Yak or Flipflop or whatever the
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:hell else is out there right now.
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:And when my review came around,
Facebook had actually changed what
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:metrics were even available over
the course of the previous year.
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:So you couldn't even re- measure or report
on the metrics I had promised to share.
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:And so I was told I didn't meet
some of the standards in my
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:review because it was not possible
for me to deliver the numbers.
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:Facebook didn't make
them available anymore.
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:They didn't exist.
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:I was told I was not achieving,
when in fact, I had moved the
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:program in the right direction.
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:I had done the right
thing for this company.
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:I'd done all of the things the
organization would wanna see,
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:but I couldn't prove it in
the construct of their review.
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:So that's an example of a really
flawed setup, where there's all of
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:this structure and rigor around goal
setting that is meant to say, "Are you
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:impacting the business positively?"
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:But instead, it's not adaptable
or flexible enough for
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:realistic and, frankly, expected
changes in the environment.
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:The goals had no direction underneath
them, so when the environment shifted,
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:there was really nothing to navigate by
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:I know a lot of people set direction
in January based on reflections in the
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:previous year, maybe revenue goals that
have been set for them, that sort of
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:general New Year's resolution timing.
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:But by July, the season has shifted
a lot and inputs have changed
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:Even if I hone in just on 2026, there are
so many changes in how this year operates.
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:Many of us are consuming way more
AI-generated content, using more
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:AI tools, using new tools this
week than we were using last month.
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:All of this fundamentally changes
how we operate, what we can achieve,
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:what we can do, and what's important.
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:Those things that felt urgent in
Q1 may have resolved or reversed or
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:not be relevant, and people may be
executing against a plan built for
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:a very different version of their
life and circumstances and business.
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:Another thing I've seen happen a lot
is the specificity of goals is very
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:detailed for Q1 because you have so
much more visibility, and then it
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:starts to get more generic for Q3 or Q4.
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:So I've seen some Q4 goals that are
like, "Continue doing and optimizing that
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:thing I started doing in Q1," because
there isn't enough information from
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:the thing you launched in Q1 to say how
to continue to do it or optimize it or
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:improve it or what next steps to take.
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:And so there's this moment in the middle
of the year where you now have more
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:visibility for the six months ahead of
you, but maybe not the right outside
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:framing or support to be thinking
about whether what you committed to in
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:January is still relevant or whether
you're just plugging away on it out
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:of habit or routine or on autopilot.
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:Every year I set a Goodreads goal to read
a certain number of books, and I either
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:crush it or I miss it spectacularly.
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:And I used to sort of feel bad when I
missed it because when you're setting your
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:goal for the next year, it's like, "Oh,
you were so bad at reading this past year.
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:Are, are you sure you
wanna set a big goal?
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:Do you wanna try to read
fewer books next year?"
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:And I take this personally because
I'm an insane person, like Goodreads
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:is personally attacking me and my
own ability to read and be a literate
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:person, which, you know, probably
not the right interpretation.
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:The reality is the years I missed it
spectacularly, it's usually because
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:something else was taking the place
of the time I normally spend reading.
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:I was doing more crossword
puzzles or needlepointing.
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:It wasn't that I didn't wanna
read those books, or I was a less
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:literate or educated person, or that
Goodreads was attacking me, or I
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:couldn't find more good books to read.
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:It was that my priority shifted,
and the goal didn't shift with it.
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:The question really isn't
about how far you've gotten.
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:It's about whether you still know
where you are going and whether that
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:destination is still the right one.
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:And I think this is where I say you don't
necessarily need to know the whole path.
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:You don't need the entire river mapped
out for you, just like Roosevelt didn't.
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:Although I'm not recommending anything
he did as an approach for travel,
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:and I do realize, you know, a river
is water, there's only one direction
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:to move on it, but could it be a
horrible metaphor for all of this?
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:Not the point.
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:Sometimes you spend the time
mapping and planning and, and
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:none of that is the point.
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:You just need to know which way is
forward from where you actually are
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:right now, and what does forward
even look like from this exact spot.
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:And then you plant a flag so that
even if you've taken a wrong turn,
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:you know how to get back to the flag.
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:Again, planting a flag doesn't
mean you have it all figured out.
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:It's just about having enough orientation
to take the next step in a direction
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:that's actually right for you.
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:So a work version of this could look
like you have a bunch of goals built
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:around your current customer base and
the way they work, but then you sign
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:a new customer in April, and that
customer pushes development or introduces
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:you to new use cases or changes the
product roadmap and your overall
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:thinking on, on what you're doing.
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:And maybe that fundamentally
changes the way you're managing
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:other customers as well.
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:So instead of adhering to a path that's
tied to all of these old goals that are
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:outdated, the ability to be adaptable
exists because the flag was planted
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:around providing a great customer
experience and retaining customers.
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:So that flag holds and is relevant
and is correct even when the
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:specific path to get there shifts
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:Maybe this doesn't make any sense, but
I keep thinking about a time when I
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:was younger, I decided to make a cake
without a complete recipe, which is
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:something I just don't normally do.
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:I'm a, I'm a rules follower,
and I'm a recipe follower.
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:But I had the chocolate cake
part done, and I wanted to
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:improvise a banana frosting.
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:And I, for some reason, I baked this
in pie tins instead of cake pans,
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:and the sides sloped, and I ended up
cutting off and trimming the edges.
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:But I was like 10 years old at the
time, so I, I didn't wanna waste
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:any perfectly good chocolate cake.
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:So I started piling the scraps of cake
on top of it, the, the main cake, and I
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:was pouring this runny banana frosting
all over it, and it looked revolting.
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:Um, I named it Volcaco, which did not help
in any way and is probably not a great
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:indicator of a future career in marketing.
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:By every general measure of success for
baking, appearance, technique, definitely
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:texture if not taste, this was a failure.
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:But I wanted a chocolate banana cake, and
I ended up with a chocolate banana cake.
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:So the flag held.
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:I just took some very interesting and
unappealing turns on the way there.
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:There wasn't a directional issue.
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:There was an execution issue.
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:But again, no need to confuse those things
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:All right, so I've said a lot about the
importance of direction and why it's so
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:helpful and, and the need to plant a flag
even if you don't have it all planned.
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:So what do you do with
all this information?
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:Because obviously this isn't all
a windup to a recipe for Volcaco.
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:Here's the thing, you don't need a
template or a workbook, but there are,
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:I think, two helpful checkpoints that
you can use, and doing them now and
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:in this order could be really helpful.
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:So part one is a direction check, and
for this, I would find about 10 minutes
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:in an environment where you can actually
think, whatever that means to you.
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:I don't know if you're the kind of
person who just needs it to be in the
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:morning before other people are, are
awake, or if you need to go on a walk,
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:or if you need to, like, light candles
and burn sage and find a peaceful space.
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:I, I don't know.
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:But get to that place where you
can operate this way and you wanna
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:ask yourself o- one question: Where
do I actually wanna go right now?
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:Not where did I plan to go in
January or where should I wanna
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:go, but where do I wanna go right
now from where I actually am?
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:So if you can answer that
question clearly, great
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:news, you have your compass.
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:If you can't, that's the work, and
you're going to wanna plant the
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:flag before you do anything else.
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:And here's a pro tip.
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:If you don't know where to plant
the flag, then you need to plant
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:the flag in the ground labeled
figure out where to plant the flag
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:So that part has to come first
because you can't think about
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:everything else you're doing against
a direction you haven't named yet.
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:And so that's why part two is coming
after part one, as part twos always do.
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:So by now you know where you're going.
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:You wanna look at what you're actually
spending time on and run it through the
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:direction filter, and I think these are
five good ways to look at it, or five
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:good ways to sort of filter those things.
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:First, what are you still
working on just because you
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:started it earlier in the year?
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:Not because it's the right thing,
but because it's in motion, and
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:stopping it feels like quitting.
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:If the only reason something is on
your list is sort of momentum or
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:default, that's not really direction.
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:You're stuck in negative inertia.
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:Second, what meetings, commitments,
or obligations came into your
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:life without a conscious yes?
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:You didn't decide to own this.
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:It just became yours.
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:At some point, someone needed
something, you were capable.
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:Now it's a standing item on
your calendar about a thing that
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:was never really your problem.
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:If you don't know what I'm
talking about, congratulations,
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:I'm very jealous of your life.
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:Okay, third, what are you still measuring
that no longer tells you anything useful?
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:The Facebook version of this
is, is everywhere, right?
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:A metric, a goal, a number you're still
tracking because you set it up and
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:nobody says stop, but it stopped being
connected to actual direction months ago
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:Fourth, what would you stop doing tomorrow
if you gave yourself permission to do so?
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:Not something that's hard or that
you don't like, but because if
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:you're really honest, it doesn't go
anywhere you're trying to go anymore.
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:The things that survive this question
are the important things to keep, and
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:the things that don't, you probably
already knew, but you were looking
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:for permission to stop doing them.
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:And fifth, what are you not doing that
your direction is actually asking for?
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:Because autopilot runs
in two directions, right?
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:There are things that you're doing that
don't belong, and there are things that
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:should be there that keep getting bumped.
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:And if something keeps falling
off your list, that's important
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:information for you to think about.
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:Either it belongs and you need to
protect it, or it doesn't, and you
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:should stop feeling guilty about it.
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:That whole thing, part one and
part two, honestly should take
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:about thirty minutes if, if you
can find some real focus and quiet.
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:Part one might take ten if the answer
comes easier, or longer if it doesn't.
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:That's fine.
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:The discomfort or the slowness in part
one is also really useful information,
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:and it tells you you're doing it right.
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:So why am I talking about this right now?
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:Today is July ninth.
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:You're probably not listening
on July ninth, but if you are,
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:thank you for your loyalty and
commitment to this nascent podcast.
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:But I personally think July
is a genuinely good time for a
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:check-in on where you're headed.
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:Not a formal mid-year review process
or, like, a built-out Notion template
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:or a workbook that Claude made you
from a prompt that you saw on LinkedIn.
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:Just an opportunity to check
in with yourself and ask, "Am I
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:headed in the right direction?
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:Am I going to the right place?"
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:July is particularly useful for this
because things tend to slow down a little.
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:You may get enough time
off to actually reflect.
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:I also like the fact that the start
of July is the halfway point in the
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:year, and there's sort of something
in the spirit of Independence Day.
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:You're celebrating freedom, and
you're thinking about what you're
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:gonna use that freedom for.
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:It's also my birthday month.
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:So again, July, great month all around,
but a really good time for reflection.
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:The question is not how far you've
gotten, and it's not a guilt trip
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:about how far you need to go.
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:It's whether you still know where
you're going and whether that's
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:still where you're meant to end up.
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:If the answer is yes, keep moving,
and if you're not sure, this is
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:the moment to plant that flag.
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:You don't need to have
the whole map sorted out.
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:You just need enough orientation
to make sure you're taking the
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:right next step and to use it as a
litmus test for future decisions.
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:I'm Karen Doak.
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:This is OK Actually, where we get clear,
get sorted, get going, and stay sane.
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:Happy July and happy direction finding.
